Interview With A Sex God
by evil pandora 666
Summary: SNAPE IS IN IT!! Doesn't that settle the matter of you reading it?!?!
1. The Situation Goes from Okay to Crappy.....

A/N- If I get any reviews I will write the next part.  
  
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Interview With the Sex God  
  
Some time in the late 80's a young man looking for a "good story" decides to set out and find what he's looking for instead of sitting at home smoking weed all day  
  
Christian Slater- I'm a young man looking for a "good story," so I'm going to set out and find what I'm looking for. *slowly sets down bong*  
  
A few months later he finds a tall man with long black hair and black eyes. He was in London of course. he had traveled the world looking for some one like this man.  
  
Christian- *Approaches the tall man looking slightly in love, but only gets a look of annoyance out of the tall man.*  
  
Christian- Hello, can I interview you???  
  
Tall Guy- Excuse me?  
  
Christian- May I interview you? It would be a whole story just about you and everyone would read it.  
  
Tall Guy- No little brats in it what so ever right? not the little freaks who annoy me so that I want to kill * eyes sharpen on a small boy with dark brown hair, a lightning bolt scar and broken glasses*  
  
Christian- Er... I guess not. * very, very confused as he looks at the small boy*  
  
Tall Guy- Alrighty then you may interview me. *goes to a quiet room all alone with Christian as he sets up a tape recorder and lights a cigarette*  
  
Christian- *slowly begins to think of questions because smoking so much pot has killed so MANY brain cells* So what is your name?  
  
Tall Guy- Severus Snape * looks around the room and sits on the bed*  
  
Christian- *sits there intrigued*  
  
Severus Snape- *Notices the way Christian is looking at him and jumps up off the bed* I thought this was an interview. Why don't you ask more questions?  
  
C- You're right.... anyway *looks sadly disappointed*... why did you eye that little brown haired boy with the funny cut on his head?  
  
S.S.- Damn it I thought this story was about me! YOU BITCH MONKEY!  
  
C- *mumbles under his breathe "Ill be your bitch monkey."*  
  
S.S. - *blushes as he did hear what Christian said* Ask me another question  
  
C- Are you available? *stands up and goes to him and rubs his arm affectionately*  
  
S.S. - * cautiously starts to sit back down on the bed * I don't believe that is right of you to ask me that question  
  
C - Oh come on you know you want exactly what I want so tell me are you single *looks at him and sits next to him*  
  
S.S. - I do not and I will not tell! * gets up off of the bed and tries to walk away*  
  
*hears the door open and Percy walks into the room*  
  
P- What are you doing here Snape! *looks at him*  
  
S.S.- Christian wanted to interview me. What are you doing here Percy?  
  
P- Christian and I met last night and wanted me to come back tonight*  
  
Everyone- *eyes everyone else suspiciously and gives them a stern look*  
  
SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS GO OFF IN THE ROOM AND SOME ONE SCREAMS  
  
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	2. The Situation Continues to Worsen...

A/N- Finally another CHAPTER. Hopefully, all of you who read the original like this one, too. I'd like to thank my Beta reader, The Evil Muffin Goat. Also, contrary to what one reviewer perceives as love is not. I DON'T love Snape. Although I do love one person who is evil and happens to sadly turn into a bouncing ferret *pouts slightly*  
  
As we return to the hotel room we see Snape being held by Christian as well as Percy holding on to his leg frightened.  
  
*Christian smiles as always intrigued by any gesture of affection from the tall dark haired and eye colored man who suddenly realized what he was doing as the lights came on and jumped back. Although Percy continued to grasp on to his leg.*  
  
C. - What is wrong? I didn't know the lights were gonna go out. *looks around smiling evilly and laughs to himself*  
  
S.S - Oh you stupid MOTHER SODDER! I should have never agreed to this interview. You are a stupid bitch monkey and I hate you! *He says, although he is looking at Christian's crotch intensely as he longs for it  
  
*Percy watches as he gets a little jealous and jumps on Snape and starts to punch him in the head* He is mine! Don't you look at him like that you whore!  
  
S. - What? I didn't do anything. *He screams in pain as Percy is punching him in the head* Stop you twat. Yes I wanted him but its nothing for you to care about.  
  
C. - *Smiles as he notices the two of them fighting over him* My, my, my boys looks like we might have a little problem, but there is no reason for the punching. We can all be civil all three of us are adults. *He says as he pulls Percy off of Snape and pulls him closer.* But that doesn't matter any more. Come and sit down Snapey. *thank you who ever put that in there review * We can all have fun here *smiles evilly but softly*  
  
S- *Sits down and watches Christian and Percy as he sits next to Christian with Percy on the other side of him.*  
  
P- Christian this all seems a little, how do you say it… KINKY…*looks at him*  
  
Christian grabs a bong and takes a hit and passes it to the left because he too has seen Scary Movie and knows that passing it the right is wrong. Snape takes a huge hit and Percy takes a little one. They all smile.  
  
A/N that's where I'm leaving it this time he, he, he… so REVIEW OR I WILL NOT CONTINUE ANY MORE 


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